On a full moon night on May 29, I sat in a bamboo shala with a few quiet souls, meditating. Tom, a volunteer at the shala, guided us into Prana meditation — the simple observation of breaths and sensations. We spoke briefly after, during which I was inspired to embark on a month-long meditation journey.
Every morning since then, before touching toes to the ground, I sat in bed to meditate. Some mornings, I bathed in gratitude of having the luxury of time, space and silence. Some mornings, I opened my eyes laughing because my sis’ awake and she sang a song and we both started our day laughing. Sometimes too, I thought about breakfast — I love breakfast. Or sent love to friends I met last night.
On many mornings though, anxiety surfaced. Body ached. My head echoing with questions. This hasn’t been an easy month to sit with. But Day 35 reflecting on my month-long journey (unknowingly surpassed the 30-day mark!) I noticed I’m staring now in the face of my weaknesses, tender spots, insecurities. Things within that either I do not know exist, or have refused to acknowledge.
For some of these issues I have answers. An understanding of work-in-progress. But the greatest gift received is to see clearly that I wake up as a different me, every morning. Yesterday can be peaceful, unshakable. Today, tender and requiring me-time. By meeting myself in the morning, acknowledging good or bad emotions (leftovers from the day before, or dreams, or depth of sleep) can I then be calm and kind for the entire length of the new day.
SHENAYOGA 